I'm In Love...

I'm in love... with my KIDS! Having these two wonderful boys has been like waking up every day with that feeling you get when you first fall in love. I miss them when they are gone, I can't wait to see them. I just stare at them and smile. Sure they are rotten and drive me completely insane at times, but I wouldn't have it any other way :)

So much time has passed since my last post. Logan is now 4 and although he wasn't old enough to qualify for Pre-K, the daycare he goes to has a pre-K classroom and they are letting him in there. He's so much happier now. It won't count as an actual pre-k school year for him but I don't mind. He loves the structure and big-boy routine of Pre-k. No more getting bit by the younger kids. And his teacher assures us that Logan is thriving in Pre-K and is doing better than most of the kids who started in August. He's a smart kid, but doesn't always apply it towards good :) He is so mischievous and we are trying to reel it in, because as it's cute now, it won't be one day when he's suspended from school for mooning his class. The other day we caught him 'hiding' under the kitchen table with a bag of chex mix he was told that he wasn't allowed to eat any more of. I say hide, but he was very much in plain sight. When I caught him all he could do was smile this big troublesome dimply grin and giggle like "I'm busted".. there was no sense of remorse or wrongdoing. He thinks he's too cute and funny to really get in trouble. Needless to say he sat in time out and lost his dessert that night for his little stunt, but when he wasn't looking I sure did laugh because frankly he is too cute and funny! I had to send his Daddy in to do the dirty work because I couldnt' keep a straight face.

He loves to dress up in costumes. He likes jumping on his bed and playing rough with the dog. He giggles 90% of the time. He is always in such a wide-mouthed grin that he ends up slobbering all over the place. I think his overproduction of drool is a direct response to all the years my brothers and I made fun of my younger brother for being so drooly. He is so easily entertained and amused. He can turn most any inanimate objects into toys and send them on an adventure :rocks, drinking straws, sticks, his meals... He used to be our best eater and now we can't get him to stop playing with his food long enough to eat it. He'll still try just about anything and there are very few items he doesn't like, he just can't focus enough to finish a meal.

  Brenden is doing great. He still amazes me with how smart and quick to learn he is. He just has a crazy sharp memory. If you tell him something 1-2 times he remembers it... except when it comes to rules, those he can't seem to remember! He's great at math and still reading like a champ. He can play some pretty complex games on the ipad and I find myself quite surprised how well he can play them for his age.

 He is the sweetest little guy. He loves to hug and snuggle, to sit on your lap, etc. He loves getting your undivided attention. He cares about everybody's feelings. If I ask Logan for a hug and he says 'no' then Brenden will run up and say 'here mommy, I will hug you.' He's always giving his favorite pillow or stuffed animal to Logan so that 'Logan will be happy.' He just has such a huge heart and he makes mine melt almost every day. He has really gotten into drawing and art now. Oh how I've longed to have an artistic buddy in my life! We draw, color, cut, paste and craft our little hearts out. He draws things and hangs them on my office wall. He sings along with songs on the radio now. He holds such a special place in my heart. Of course so does Logan. Brenden makes my heart smile, Logan makes my belly laugh. They are perfect!

Picture time !

Where has the time gone?

Gosh, when I started this blog I was impatiently pregnant with Brenden, hoping he'd arrive safely into the world, knowing he was coming early. I had struggled for so long to get pregnant and then to have a complicated pregnancy on top of that... it was a stressful time for sure!

But look what I have now! I have the most handsome little kindergartener you've ever seen! Kindergarten? Really? Already? Isn't he supposed to be my cuddly little baby for just a little bit longer? He'll always be my baby I suppose :) He started kindergarten last Thursday and absolutely loves it. He had spent most of his summer in a summer camp program at the local daycare. Because he was 5 he was considered school aged and was lumped in with kids from ages 5-12 to go on field trips every day. He liked it, but I never got the sense he LOVED it. He'd mention that kids didn't want to play with him or he'd get bossed around. I don't cast any blame on the other kids, not everybody wants a 5yr old tag-along (even one as perfect as mine!). So kindergarten has been a breath of fresh air for him. He thrives on routine and mental stimulation. He says he prefers the classroom over the endless field trips to various recreation areas at the daycare. He loves being in a class with kids his own age. He loves that there aren't a lot of 'rules' ... it seems he felt that people were always telling him what he was doing wrong at daycare without ever teaching him what was the right rule to follow. He'd say "i got in trouble today, but they forget I am new and I don't know all of the rules yet" I hope he never loses that ability to brush off the small stuff. He is just so eager to please and be everybody's friend. He gets to ride the big kid bus in the morning to school and then participates in an after school program at the school itself. The school is perfect for me too.  It is very small and quaint. It has good security (locked doors, check lists of who gets in/out, etc). Brenden has his own little locker in the hallway for his belongings. He does various worksheets and art projects that he brings home every day. I love opening his backpack to see what he's done. They are really bringing out his creativity. I was so sad to have a kid old enough to be in kindergarten, but at the same time I am just so happy to see how much Brenden loves going to school. He's such a gem!

 



If Logan had only been born a few weeks earlier he'd be able to enroll in Pre-K this year, but alas he has to wait another year. He continues to go to daycare and seems to be adjusting. We had some issues with a biter in his class, but that's gotten better. Just another month and he'll be 4! Some moments he's 3 going on 13, but other times he can just transform into a sweet 3 yr old little boy that still needs his mommy to hold and snuggle him. He's a challenge for sure. He knows how to stand his ground and he has trouble taking serious things seriously. He likes to backtalk and crack jokes and its hilarious and infuriating all at the same time. He keeps me on my toes!

And we have a wonderful addition to our family. Miss Keira the cocker spaniel was given to us by a friend who rescued her from a neglect situation. She thought we'd be the perfect home for her since I work at home and can stay with the dog all day. Keira has some separation anxiety as a result of her neglect. She's 9 months old and is really a good dog. She has her puppy moments and loves to try to steal food any chance she gets, but mostly she's just a very affectionate dog that's happy to be part of a family that actually wants to play with her. Logan just adores her - a little too aggressively at times lol. Brenden loves playing with her. I really like watching the boys form a bond with a pet. Kitty Rocky tolerates Keira. Actually the cat could care less about the dog, he's easy-going like that, but Keira will get just a little too excited and want to instigate play time with the cat and Rocky just doesn't want to tackle and chase like the dog does :) Look at that sweet puppy face.

Surgery again for my little man!

About 2 weeks ago Logan had to have a second hydrocele surgery. Seems this time the issue was on his left side. They found there was a hydrocele and a hernia which was the source of the fluid for the hydrocele. The surgery was much more difficult on my little guy this time around. The first time he hardly noticed a thing but this time he was quite visibly in pain. Maybe he has more muscle surrounding the hernia that they had to cut through?

He awoke from the surgery in recovery crying and saying "owie" over and over again. It was too pitiful. He was irritating his airway from crying so much. His airway was sensitive from being intubated during the surgery so they gave him a dose of morphine to sleep off some of the pain and get him to stop crying and making that croupy sound. In the end we just left recovery with him screaming and crying because every time he opened his eyes he was in pain. He slept most of the day and the poor thing refused to use the bathroom all day because he didn't want to sit upright. I was starting to worry about him and a possible bladder or urinary tract problem, but at 4:00 a.m. the following day he finally gave in and peed. He screamed and cried in pain the whole time but he had obviously been holding it a while. The next day he did much better. He was mostly afraid of irritating the incision (in his abdomen) so he'd ask me to carry him everywhere, but by mid-afternoon he was brave enough to play and was going potty all by himself without any tears. He wasn't allowed to take a bath or swim for a full week, and he wasn't too happy about that, but now he's allowed to swim. He still has steri-strips on the incision and I was told it would take several weeks for the internal stitches to dissolve. He's feeling much better and now we spend more time trying to keep him from hurting the incision than we do comforting him because it bothers him. I hope this is the last of surgeries for this little guy!

Before the surgery.

 

Recovering sweet boy

Wanted to be on his mommy's lap to sleep it off.

Tried to eat a snack when he came home but passed out instead. He's so pale from feeling so sick from anesthesia :( 

The next day - " I feel better!!"

A much needed day of family fun!

This week the boys started a new daycare. The place we had them at before just didn't live up to my standards. Living in North Carolina gave us a wide variety of "child development centers" to choose from. They were costly, but I never doubted for a second that my children were well cared for. That is just not the case in the area of WV we moved to. I have no idea why there aren't more childcare facilities in this area, but the fact is, there aren't many to choose from. There was one close by that we decided to try, but after a full month of tears from Logan, stories of teachers using words like "idiot" and "fool" around the kids, lots of tv watching, and my own witness of things that just weren't up to my standards... we made the decision to pull the kids out and find someplace else. We decided that we were willing to drive further to take them to daycare if it meant they were happy - I'll interject here that my husband is taking online courses from home, and I work from home, so the only driving we do is to-from daycare. We found a place that was more like the centers in NC that we were used to. My only grief was that Brenden, who starts school in the fall, is considered "school age" and thus is in their summer camp program. Summer camp consists of taking daily field trips to the pool, to the park, bowling, etc. I'm quite nervous about my son being taken to all of these places with people he's just met, but I am trying to have an open mind. The daycare is a local chain so there are actually 4 centers that go on these field trips together. Logan has improved by leaps and bounds since starting the new daycare. He doesn't cry anymore, he even behaves better at home. So I know they really do a good job with teh kids there. Being the proud mama that I am, I consider both of my boys to be super smart. Brenden was reading at 3, Logan doesn't have the same focus that Brenden has so reading is something he's not interested in, but he knows how to spell and write his name. He has good letter and number recognition, etc. Anyway, in 30 days of the old daycare nobody ever said "hey your kid is very smart" but after 1 day of the new daycare, we heard stories of how he wrote his name in sidewalk chalk, and how he was at the top of his class with letter, number, color, shape, etc recognition. I really like hearing these things because it tells me that someone is paying attention to my child!

Yesterday the daycare gave us a great opportunity for a familly fun day. There is a local amusemant park called "camden park" ... Its more like your run of the mill county fair, BUT the rides and size of the park were absolutely perfect for a 3 and 5 year old. Parents were allowed to volunteer and get in at the discounted group rate.. but once inside, we were told if we wanted to just take our kids and do our own thing, that they were fine with, and encouraged it. So I took the day off of work and we made a family day of it. The boys LOVED it. The rides were great for their age. There were no lines at all and just about everything they could ride as long as a parent went with them. They LOVED the haunted house! I really didn't think they'd want to go near it but I'm thinking we rode that thing about 4 times!! I had a blast just watching them smile and squeal! It was a very much needed adventure for us all. I spend so much of my time indoors because I work from home so I just loved being out in the open for the day. It rained quite a bit on and off, but even the rain was fun for the kids. It really was a great day for us!

They had a kid sized roller coaster. Brenden got off and jumped in the air and said "that was AWESOME!!"

Before we got there I told them there would be rides - Logan said "I want to ride a fire truck" and sure enough when we got there... they had a fire truck! He was SO happy!!!

Soaking wet from running around in the rain - and passed out within 5 minutes of leaving the park!

Hello Again....

Once again its been an eternity since I've updated the blog. I suppose that says I'm spending more time creating memories with my boys than I am documenting them - but I do love documenting their lives!

Life has been pretty busy. We started the boys in daycare. Daycare in this area is nothing like the daycares in the NC area. So its tough for me to accept a different level of childcare. That's not to say that its not good, its just not the 'style' that I'm used to.

Logan has been all about Mommy lately. He is glued to me almost always and I can't say that I don't love it completely. However, he's not very nice to his daddy when I can't be there to do things for him. So we're working on that. He's still our crazy, wild, funny boy. Yesterday his new teacher asked me if Brenden was so funny too and we said no (not in a bad way, but Logan is just hilarious). She was telling us all the funny things he says to them and he does it with so much personality. He talks like he's a teenager or something. She told me that he found a hair and gave it to her, but explained very carefully that it could NOT be his hair because all of his hairs were still on his head. He things its so funny to run out of the room and strip down to his underwear and run back in and say 'tah-dah!' And just smile and laugh. He mostly has no fear at all - except for animals and wind. The wind thing is really crazy. He's terrified that our belongings will blow away and will flat out refuse to go outside on a windy day.

Brenden is becoming a little man before my eyes. He loves to sit on my lap and play games on the ipad with me. He likes to help out and help his little brother. He's very protective of his little brother. He always says Logan is making him nervous when he's not being 'safe.' He's so eager to please and just be an equal to his parents. I miss him being a baby but I love that we can just talk and have our own conversations. He's got the greatest laugh and smile. I love making him laugh until tears come out of his eyes. He is just a sweet and kind-hearted boy.

We are trying to get the pool ready for summer. I'm new to this whole pool ownership thing so I'm trying to figure out some of the basic things - like connecting the pump to the filter. Our deck was severely rotted when we moved into the house so we knew we'd need a new pool deck. We didn't go as big as the original deck. We just couldn't justify spending that much on a deck that would only be used a few months of the year. The builders did a great job. They also made it more child safe. The railing is higher, the pickets are closer together, and the gate is self-closing, self-latching. My goal is to have both boys knowing how to swim by the end of the summer. So I hope that works out. Neither of them likes to get their face wet so I know that will be the first thing they will need to learn, getting their faces under the water and not panicing. Lord grant me the peace of mind to get through this! Even with all the efforts to make this child-safe, I sitll will not feel completely safe with being a pool owner until they both know how to at least doggie paddle to the edge of the pool .

The Final Day of a 4 Year Old

I have to fight back the tears as I realize today is the LAST day my baby boy will be 4. He is going to be a big 5 year old boy tomorrow. Five just seems like that line in the sand between a preschooler and a big boy. I suppose I have to let him grow up sooner or later! I just didn't expect it to happen so fast.

He's a great big brother and a super smart kid. He takes great care of his little brother Logan. I pray they always get along as well as they do today. It's so fun to just sit back and let them play. Their imaginations just run wild. They love the Imaginext dvd that came with their castle toy. And they love to pretend that they are Octonauts. I actually got to watch HGTV the other day without interruption because they sat in their room and played by themselves for a good hour.

I can't say enough great stuff about my little Brenden. He's so sweet and loving. He loves to hug and snuggle. He really likes to please people. He's got a really big heart. He's also crazy smart. He just absorbs information like a sponge. He has been reading for some time now and he's now spelling out words just by listening to the sounds he hears. He's got a good grasp of basic math skills (addition and subtraction) and can figure out things quickly in his head. Like if there are 6 of something and you give him 3 he can immediately tell you that there are 3 left without really having to do the math. I worried that with him staying home from school he'd lose some of that sharpness, but he finds other ways to take in knowledge. This really proves that his learning is all his doing. I can't take credit for it lol. He loves educational tv... Super Why, WordWorld, etc.

Tomorrow I'll take the day off and we'll celebrate our Brenden as a family, then Saturday we'll have a party for him. Being his mother has been an absolute blessing and joy. He's been my little buddy since the day he was born and placed in my arms for the first time. Sometimes when he looks at me I still see that tiny little 5 lb peanut that slept beside me all those years ago. I know that age is just a number and he will be the same boy tomorrow that he is today. He will continue to light up my life and teach me to love in ways I never thought possible. My little IVF miracle is just that.. a miracle. I love you my little 4 year old boy! Tomorrow I will love my 5 year old big boy even more!

2013

I'm trying to do a better job keeping up with my posts. The holidays are over and I was back at work on Wednesday. I felt pretty rested and refreshed so it wasn't too bad.

Sean is working towards a better schedule with the boys. Staying at home can make it easy to let the boys drive the schedule. He's trying to give Brenden time to read and Logan time to learn writing and letter sounds. He isn't as focused as Brenden is. Logan enjoys physical activities, Brenden enjoys thinking activities.

Brendens 5th birthday is quickly approaching. It doesn't seem possible. It's been a great 5 years though. He's a special little guy! I'm still trying to figure out what kind of party to have for him. He wanted Octonauts but there isn't much out there for that. He and Logan love the 3 Musketeers and their Imaginext castle so I was considering doing a knight theme. He'll be happy no matter what.

Here are a few photos from the new year so far

"I stayed up too late New Years Eve"




Logan insisting to clean up his own mess after Art time.



Playing Mickeys Road Rally on iPad



Thursday I had to get a crown put on my tooth and the boys got me some "feel better flowers"


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A year in reflection

My poor negelected blog :(  Really, it's not my fault. A while back I started getting error message saying my space was full, even though it wasn't and I couldn't add photos anymore. I'm still trying to figure that out but I did find on Picasa support that it is a 'known issue'... not really sure how that helps but at least I know its not my own insanity keeping me from posting pictures.

As I sit here in front of my computer on New Year's Eve I think of what an amazing year it has been. My boys have grown up so much and Logan seems to surpassed the phase of toddler into child. I officially have KIDS, not babies. This does not stop me from babying them though! It was a year of highs and lows. It was a year of loss as I said farewell to my friend Maria way too soon. She was truly an angel here on earth and I know she'd fulfilling God's greater purpose for her now, but I cannot help but feel sadness that she is no longer here on earth with us.

I'm looking at my picture folders for each month of this year. When I look at January I see a tiny baby-faced Logan. His hair still in ringlets because it is not yet thick enough to weigh-out the curl. I see a young Brenden - only 3 years old, the same age Logan is today. They both seem so much more mature.

Brenden and Logan's friendship has really blossomed this past year. They are the best of friends and really play well together. They have vivid imaginations and can instantly tranform themselves into pirates, knights, puppies, monsters, etc. I love seeing what creative scenarios they come up with. I feel like the gap between their ages is quickly closing and they are becoming more alike in so many ways. They are still very much their own child. Brenden continues to be our sensitive little brainiac. Logan continues to be wild and silly. He thinks as long as he can make you laugh he can do no wrong. I always say... Brenden is smart and Logan is clever. Brenden can learn anything in a flash, but Logan can figure things out and scheme like no other 3 year old can :) They are a good balance for each other.

This year has given me the opportunity to live closer to my family. I began working from home more frequently and finally made the decision (with the cooperation of my employer) to make the transition to work from home full time and relocate to West Virginia. None of my family lives in the town I grew up in anymore. I made the decision to move to the Charleston/Huntington area as its a nice sized town and is within a 2 hour drive of my mom and my brother. Our search for a home was sort of blind, in that it was really based on the internet. I wasn't familiar with any of the areas. I made a list of 3-4 homes and decided to come look at things. Our realtor told us she could show up to 6 so I aded a few of my 'maybe' options to the list. I was so glad I did. The houses I liked turned out to be not very great, and one of my 'maybe' homes turned out to be perfect. Its a great home in a great neighborhood. We have a large back yard for the boys to roam free. We are just minutes from the interstate and it turns out the exit we live off of is where the Mall is. We never have to travel more than 10 miles to get to anything we need it seems. I was a tiny bit worried that moving from NC to WV would be hard on me since I'd been there for so many years, but we absolutely love everything about where we moved. So far we've even been able to handle the cold weather and snow. Of course we made it all the way til late December before the temps dropped below 50's.

I suppose we often open each new year with everything in our lives we want to make better, but for me, today is a day of reflection. I have come to realize that its easy to focus on the obstacles God places before us and not the blessings. I have obstacles, but as I face the obstacles of life God rewards me with a good job, a good home, a good family... so many blessings. I have the most incredible children in the world and watching them grow has been the greatest joy of my life. There are so many out there without jobs at all and I am not only fortunate enough to have a job, but its a good job that has allowed me to relocate without having to find new employment. I hope that 2013 brings me as much joy as 2012. I look forward to all the new things that will happen in this next year. Brenden will start kindergarten which just seems impossible to believe.

And now for the resolutions... because they are important to have.
1.  A healthier me. I work from home now and its easy to just roll out of bed, sit at my desk all day and then finish work and do nothing for the rest of the day. I need to make a better effort to be more physically active and healthy.

2. A more positive attitude. It's so much easier to complain than to rejoice. I need to rejoice more :)  I have many things to be happy about. Life could be so much worse.

3. To learn more. I feel like I've hit an educational wall with my job so I want to really push myself to learn new things this year and grow my skills. One of the reasons I went into software development and support was to have a job that continues to challenge my mind. I have fallen into a repetitive mode in my job and don't feel like I'm feeding my mind anymore. I definitely want to do more.

4. To continue to grow my photography skills. I got to that 'i know enough to do what i need to do' level but I could learn more and I enjoy learning... and who knows... one day I may need a backup carreer :)

5. To spend more quality time with the kids. I do spend time with the kids but they play together so well its easy for me to just let them do their thing and I can do my thing. But I know one day they'll be independent teens locking themselves in their room and listening to music thats way too loud and playing whatever fad electronic device is out at that time. I want them to grow up feeling like their parents really are a part of their lives.


And to finish things up, it seems that blogger will finally let me upload some photos so I'll put a few 'best of 2012' pictures here.