Farewell Old Friend :(

I can remember it like it was yesterday. It was days before my 21st birthday and my then-boyfriend pulls up with a cardboard box and a little beagle-mix puppy inside. I'd never had a dog before and fell instantly in love. I named her Copper off of the Fox and the Hound - but her coloring seemed to fit the name as well.

She was a spunky pup - often getting into trouble. She had more energy than I knew what to do with. I can remember her chewing on her leash with such force that you could actually lift her in the air with only her teeth clamped down on the leash to hold her there. She thought this was the greatest game.

6 months later I decided she needed a friend and adopted Buddy - a full blood Beagle. They were immediate soul mates and have been a constant in each others lives for a long time. They had pups together twice (don't worry, they were all given to good homes) and she was the best doggie mama I ever saw.

She has seen me through some major life events - the failure of my first marriage, the passing of my brother Joe, the rough roller-coaster of a relationship I had with another man after my divorce. She licked away my tears more times than I can count. She loved me unconditionally.

Years later I met Sean - a dog lover - and they became immediate friends. She loved to snuggle and had the worst breath on the planet, a deadly combination.

In her old age she was changing. Her personality was slowly going away. She was less interested in affection and attention and seemed very anxiety-ridden most days. She only seemed to care about food and would pace the house day and night in a paniced state -as if there were some meal somewhere that she was missing. It had become stressful on us to keep up with her demands, and for us to also keep up with the demands of our new addition to the family - Brenden.

Copper was great with Brenden. She never once was aggressive or jealous of him. She thought he was pretty cool because he usually was coated in food and he would voluntarily feed her his snacks :)

She was a different dog, but even at 13 and a half, I didn't think she was anywhere near her end. She had some personality changes, she slept more, she had trouble walking up and down the stairs, but aside from that she seemed healthy and was also the sentiment of our vet at each visit. Friday, July 10, 2009, I left for work in a hurry. Sean was already gone, as he was pulling a 4:30 a.m. shift. In my rush to get myself and a toddler ready and out the door on time I merely fed the dogs like usual and went on my own way. I never stopped to really say good morning, or pet them. When I got home that afternoon and Sean said she passed away, my heart broke into a thousand pieces and I kept thinking - why didn't she tell me she was sick. I would have given her one last belly rub, one last doggie treat, one last...

She went peacefully, in her sleep. She had seemed normal all day for Sean too. She fell asleep and didn't wake up for us, but for her, she woke up in a better place. A place where her joints don't hurt anymore, a place where she can run and play and EAT whenever she wants.

To Copper: You were a big part of my life. A piece of my adulthood dies with you. You were a good, loyal friend and I will miss you very much. You were my family and my friend and even though I may not have said it a lot, I love you very much.