3 weeks old

I cannot believe he's 3 weeks old already.

Here's another one of his premie outfits. Makes him look like a normal sized baby



He likes to play in his carseat in the morning. He almost looks like he is smiling here.


His other favorite activity is his mobile in the crib. Here are some pictures of that "play" time



I'd love to post more, but I have a crying baby that I must tend to!

Brenden's first bath

Brenden's last checkup went well. He's gained 12 oz since birth and I no longer have to feed him every 2 hours. I'm allowed to let him go up to 4 hours between feedings which means we can finally get a little sleep at night.. not a lot, but a little sleep is better than NO sleep!

His cord stump finally fell off so he got his first bath. He SCREAMED the whole time! The pictures say it all!




Doesn't he look so much better now that he is all snuggled up in his towel?


Every day is an adventure with this little guy. Most days he's a wonderful baby, but he has his bad moments every now and then too. I'm still trying to learn how to read his cries and figure out what he needs. He's still just a perfect little angel to me and I continue to feel blessed every time I look at him! He definitely completes me!

Brenden is 2 weeks old now!

Wow the time sure does fly! Brenden is 2 weeks old now and looks so different to me already. He's definitely starting to fatten up little by little. He has his 2 week appointment today and hopefully he's big enough that I can let him sleep more at night rather than having to feed him every 2 hours.

Here's a picture of him with a newborn jacket on over his premie outfit. The jacket is so tiny yet it swallows him up. The jacket was a gift from my good friend Kathleen. It has pants that go with it - hopefully he grows into it soon! I love how he's trying to eat the zipper.



I love this picture, he's wearing a newborn t-shirt, but it looks like a gown on him!


Wearing my new premie outfit Grandma got me. Aren't I cute????


Here's my other new premie outfit from Grandma. I am yawning , not crying !

Brenden Joseph is here!!

Oh I've been such the terrible blogger lately! My life has been a crazy whirlwind for the past week. Here's what's happened:

Tuesday 1/15 I was told I was to have another amnio on 1/16 to test the lung maturity again to try to nail down a c-section date. I was NOT happy about doing a second test when the first went so badly. I woke up at 12:30 a.m. on 1/16 and went to the bathroom and had a large amount of blood come out. I paged the nurse and the decision was made.. baby was coming out NOW.

It all happened so fast. A rush of nurses flooded the room and the panic set in that I was definitely having the baby shortly. They rushed me to the operating room and Brenden Joseph was born at 1:15 a.m. The spinal block was pretty painless - I was surprised by this, but I had some pain during the c-section and we thought I would have to go completely under. I didn't want this.. I wanted to hear my baby's first cry. They suspected the spinal medication had not evenly distributed in my spinal space so they tilted my bed slightly and soon the pain I was experiencing subsided. I loved hearing his first cry.. and of course I cried. We had kept his name a secret and when the dr's and nurses asked me what his name was I couldn't stop crying and laughing to tell them. The nurse said I was making her cry too.

He was about 35 and a half weeks so just about a month premature. His lungs were JUST FINE as he cried the entire time they stitched me up. It was music to my ears. I was terrified in the first part of the surgery, but once he was out I could have cared less what was going on in the room. He was 5lbs 0.4 oz and 17.5 inches long. He's a tiny thing, but doesn't seem to know it. He eats like a champ and had no issues after he was born so he was allowed to stay in the room with me at the hospital the whole time.

We have been home for a few days now. Recovering from the C-section was harder than I thought. I exclusively breastfeed Brenden so sitting up and laying down was really tough and made the pain a little more intense. But its all worth it when I look at his cute little face. His nickname seems to be "peanut" since he's so small. All the nurses in the hospital kept calling him that and I kept thinking the same.. he looks like a little peanut!

His biliruben levels were high at his first pediatrician checkup so we were admitted to the children's hospital last night to put him under the flourescent biliruben lights and to monitor his feeding for about 24 hours. His levels came down and we are home again. I'm quite tired as I am now needing to feed him every 2 hours to "flush" out his system. It seems to be working though - we're getting lots of poopie diapers which is what passes the bilirubens out of his system

I couldn't be a happier mother - even with the surgery, soreness from feedings, sleepless nights, etc.. its tough but worth every precious second. I cannot believe he's a week old already. He's going to grow up too fast!

Looks like another week at the hospital for me

Well its now day 6 of my hospital life. I can't believe I've been here this long, but then again at times it seems like I've been here forever.

Yesterday the nurse told me the fetal medicine specialist decided to wait until next Wednesday to do another amnio and test the lung development again. Baby Pray will be close to 36 weeks and they say they usually see healthy strong babies at that point anyway. I'm okay with waiting, I want him to be strong enough to stay with me in my room and not have to be in the NICU.

So looks like I'm here for another week at least. Of course if I have any labor, bleeding, etc.. they will do an emergency c-section at that time to prevent any serious placental bleeding.
I'm dreading doing another amnio, but I keep trying to convince myself that there's no way the second one will be as bad as the first, and it was just bad the first time because the baby didn't like his space being invaded. I guess he felt a little territorial with his amniotic fluid.
I have not had as many contractions as when I first got here. I had one day where they were coming 6 minutes apart and I started breaking a sweat, but since then I haven't had another "episode." I still have about 3-4 Braxton Hicks contractions in an hour, but that is considered normal for this stage of my pregnancy.

Baby Pray is doing excellent. He's a squirmy wormy and always makes his presence know. Yesterday the nurse couldn't get a baseline heart rate because in a 40 minute stretch of time he wouldn't stay still for 2 solid minutes. When he'd move we'd lose the heartbeat for a split second and then they'd have to start all over. At this exact moment I can feel him rolling around in my tummy. I guess since I'm not up and walking around there is no rocking motion to lull him to sleep. He's going to be wore out when he's finally born.

I have mixed emotions about the time that lies ahead. On the one hand the thought of another full week in this place seems a little depressing. On the other hand I'm not mentally ready (not that I'll ever be) to have the c-section and putting it off a few more days seems fine by me. Plus, I want him to have time to gain more weight. He was under 5 lbs by their estimation a few days ago.. I'd like to see him just a little chubbier! He seems to have a big head (= Sean's ) and a skinny body ( = Amy's). It will be fun getting to see him take on each of our features after he is born.

Not leaving the hospital until the baby is born

Well I woke up Sunday morning (2:00 a.m.) with a fairly significant bleed. The most bleeding I had seen so far. I went to labor and delivery and sat back in the genral triage area getting monitored until about 8:00 a.m. Unlike the other bleed episodes I did not have any contractions. 8:00 came and the Dr came in the room and "bottom lined" it for me : I am not to leave the hospital until the baby is born. Its just not safe for me to be 20 minutes away from the house and risk having an even more serious bleed. They stuck me in a birthing room for the rest of the day and was put on the most strict of bed rest and wasn't allowed to eat just in case the bleeding came back and they needed to do an emergeny c-section. They put an IV catheder in my arm (after 3 failed attempts to get it in my hand.. OUCH!) so they can hook me up to and IV in a moments notice if necessary. I was finally permitted to eat a meal at around 4:00 p.m. and was moved into a permanent room in the High-Risk OB area of the hospital around 7:00. 11:00 p.m. was rolling around and I still couldn't fall asleep. I just couldn't get comfortable in the hospital bed. The nurse came in and offered me an Ambien which I gladly accepted. Next thing I know they are waking me up at 4:00 a.m. because I was contracting regularly in my sleep (thats one good sleeping pill!) So I got a terbutaline injection to stop the contractions and passed back out despite the drugs notorius side effect of jitters and restlessness. Then around 7:00 a.m. the contractions came back so I received a second injection. So that starts us into today...

Today was a trying day. I think besides just being stressed and mentally drained, the hospital life took its toll on me. I was taken over into maternal fetal care and they did an u/s on the baby. I am 34 weeks but he was measuring closer to 33 weeks so I have a little guy in there (I know the gestational age is accurate with doing an in-vitro). Then they did the dreaded amniocentisis to test the fluid and determine if the babys lungs were mature. If they were mature I'd be scheduled for a c-section tomorrow. I really thought I'd be okay during the amnio but I was the biggest wimp! The needle hurt significantly and then my uterus began contracting and the baby started kicking and punching and that just made it all hurt that much worse. The dr told me it would be over in 20 seconds.. but it was more like 3 minutes of struggling with getting the fluid out. I pretty much broke down and cried at that point.. I just had been put through too much and mentally I was broken.

I have been taken off of continuous monitoring which is a nice break on my belly. When the took off the monitors my skin was peeling because of the irritation from the gel and the pressure of the monitors. I am using leg pressure cuffs every now and then to keep my legs blood ciruclating to prevent clots. The nurse suggested the longer I go without bleeding the more freedom I may get. Hopefully I can be allowed a shower at some point. I can sponge bath.. but I would like to wash my hair at some point. I don't want my baby to be born and say "ewww.. is THAT my mom???"

The nurse came back and told me that the amnio showed the lungs were not mature yet so I will not be doing a cesarian tomorrow. I'm not sure what the dr's plans are at this point. I REALLY hope they don't decide to do another amnio. I haven't heard from the dr since this morning so I don't know what the long term plan is. I just know the short term includes me staying in bed here at the hospital.

Thanks to all the family and friends for their thoughts and prayers. Also big thanks to the nursing staff here who are taking excellent care of me. I have a newfound admiration for nurses. They have done everything possible to take an uncomfortable situation for me and make it a little more tolerable.

I'm lucky enough to have wireless access from within the hospital so I will continue blogging my updates as I know what my future holds. Of course at any time my bleeding can come back and they will emergency C-section me. For now I am just thankful for each day that the baby gets stronger and healthier.

Argh.. they cancelled on me AGAIN

I know they are doctors and they can't help it, but this is getting SO frustrating. I think all of my last few doctors appointments have been cancelled and rescheduled. Well this next appointment is no different. I was supposed to go back on Tuesday the 8th, but now its been pushed to Thursday the 10th. It just frustrates me because I really stress about this placenta stuff and it helps having the regular dr. appointments. I should be on a 2-week schedule at this point, but my last visit was December 20th. So this puts me 3 weeks out from my last visit. I'm constantly having to re-arrange my schedule to make space for the originally scheduled appointment only to have it cancelled at the last minute and have to scamper around to re-arrange my schedule again.

Okay - just needed to vent on that one. I know dr's can't help it if they get called out to surgery and such, I've just never been one much for having patience I guess. Especially with all the complications I've been having.

Not much I can do about it. I had a bit of bleeding a few days ago that stopped on its own and I didn't have to go to the hospital. Hopefully it doesn't come back any time soon. I'm 34 weeks along now.. I just need to make it 3 more weeks!