Helicopter parent

I read this term, helicopter parent, in one of my parenting magazines. They wrote it as if it were a bad thing :) Helicopter parent:  From the tendency to hover over their children's lives, like a helicopter. I'm not a complete helicopter parent - I don't hover at the daycare or question their ability to educate my children. I let him make decisions on his own and TRY to let him experience the ups and downs of life on his own. I'm not an extreme helicopter parent, but I admit to being one, for sure. Maybe its because of how difficult it was for me to have Brenden that makes me hover? I can't help but want to be there to protect both of them, always. Of course now that I have 2 kids its hard to hover over both of them at once, but I still try. I am trying not to hold back their independence. I want them to learn independence and how to play 'safe' vs. not letting them play at all. I don't necessarily hinder their growth, I'm just there to catch them if the fall along the way :). I'm trying to hover at a greater distance, especially with Brenden, but it will always be in my nature to be a helicopter parent. Is it really such a bad thing to want to protect your kids?

That being said, I was very proud of myself a few weekends ago when I took the kids to the park for a birthday party. I had Logan in my arms and was 'hovering' around the playground to make sure Brenden was okay. He usually sticks to the small slides - however, he would pick the time my hands are full to climb to the top of the climber to the highest slide they have. He was way above my head, climbing metal stairs, higher than some of the nearby trees, just having fun and not knowing at all that he needed to be careful to not fall (if you know my kids.. you know they fall.. a LOT). However - I was a good mommy and let him ride the big slide and have fun like the other kids at the party. This may not seem like a big deal to most, but for this helicopter mama, it was very difficult and very stressful. BUT I spent most of my childhood afraid of everything, and I am trying to teach Brenden how to be brave and independent - and CAREFUL ("hold the handrail Brenden!" "Do not stand up on the slide Brenden!")

Here are some pictures of his first trip on the 'big slide.'

Someone held Logan so I could walk to the top with Brenden a few times (he invited me to hover!). Here's a view from the top of the slide.

He's becoming a big boy way too fast!

At least I still have one baby - for now....

Some random cuteness from this weekend.

He has it so tough, doesn't he?

Thought this expression was funny. Love those big brown eyes!

Logan and Brenden sharing some cheerios (a rare display of brotherly love)

Do you think its time for a haircut?

I have returned (briefly)!

I have been disconnected from the real world for the past few weeks trying to deal with 'life.' Brenden started out sick with a little head cold. Nothing too serious, just a runny nose and cough, but it definitely disrupted his sleep. Then Logan got some sort of tummy flu. I expected it to run its course in the normal 2-3 days max, but 6 days later he was still very sick. He either had diarrhea or vomiting or both every day and would only take milk. On the 6th day he seemed to be feeling better, but as I checked his diaper all day to change it, it was dry every time. 10 hours later... still dry :( so I called the Dr and they said to take him to the urgent care. This is where I criticize my Dr's office as it turns out the urgent care can't treat dehydration and based on the lack of urine alone; he needed some IV fluids administered. So after waiting around 45 minutes at the urgent care, we were sent to the ER. It was almost 4 hours of waiting in the waiting room alone, and then another 4 hours of waiting on treatment once we were given a room. Logan's poor veins were so small and so dehydrated it took 4 tries and 3 ER nurses to get the IV started, then the IV would cease to flow any time he moved his hand (which was taped down to a little board, but that didn't seem to help). I couldn't hold him in my arms and hold his hand steady at the same time. Finally someone came in and held his hand while I held the rest of him and a few minutes later the IV was done.

We got home at 3:30 a.m. and the next day he started to improve. I was able to get him to take pedialite from a bottle - but I had to warm it up first or he'd have nothing to do with it. My mom came down to help out as well so that Logan could get round the clock TLC and Brenden wouldn't feel too neglected in the process. After 2 days of love and fluids Logan made a full recovery. He is now trying to eat us out of house and home :) I guess he needs to gain back all that weight he lost! Luckily nobody else caught what Logan had. I'm pretty sure it was a Rota virus. The Dr's were more concerned with treating his dehydration than diagnosing a common stomach bug.



Updates on the kids:



The kids are changing so much every day. Brenden is talking up a storm and just as silly as ever. He loves the Mickey Mouse clubhouse and likes to pick out the tools and answer their questions. He really has learned a lot from that show. Then he plays little games like they do on the show, like he'll draw a 1 on his magnedoodle and say "is that a five? NOoooo. Is that a one? YES!" haha. He cracks me up. He's almost 2 and a half now. I can't figure out how time is moving so fast. He likes to run and jump and dance. He's having a little trouble with being nice to his little brother. It’s funny how they just KNOW they are supposed to pick on their little brother without any training :) He's not like this with any other kids. He's constantly taking toys away from Logan or swatting at him when he gets too close. So we are working on teaching him to be nice to his little brother. It’s a lost cause, I'm sure.

Brenden loves to sing about 5 monkeys jumping on the bed. Here is a video of him doing it all by himself. He cut the song a little short once he realized he was on film. Please excuse Mt. Laundry in the background, the washroom is next to the playroom and I was washing clothes that day. The video is from my phone so its horrible quality… sorry for that too!

Logan is learning all sorts of new things. He can clap and imitate things that you show him. He will try to imitate sounds (I swear when we pinch Brenden's hiney and say "tushie!" Logan says 'tussieeeee' too). He is standing unassisted all the time and the other day actually took a step forward on his own. I'm not ready for 2 kids walking! He loves his big brother Brenden. He likes to tackle him and chase him down the hall when we are getting ready for bath. He loves to dance just like his big brother. Its so cute to watch Brenden and Logan do the "hot dog dance" when Mickey Mouse is on. He gives the best hugs in the world and everybody at the daycare agrees. Whenever I come to pick him up, someone has to stop and tell me that they got a big hug from Logan that day. He's really a sweet little guy. His hair is out of control but I just CAN'T make myself cut those cute little corkscrew curls yet - no matter how many people tell me how cute my little girl is. He has a thing for hair anyway and I think he'd be sad if he reached up to stroke his hair and it wasn't there anymore.

He likes to use this little desk chair as a walker and pushes it all over the kitchen. It worries me to death, but its his favorite thing to play with so I try to have faith that he won't bust his lip on it one day.

Sorry I've been so out of touch with the world lately. I've had a lot of personal challenges going on so that has kept me away from my various online vices. Other than the occasional facebook update via my blackberry (and the blackberry facebook app sux!), I haven't been online much or keeping up with email. I've been in a bit of a funk and trying my best not to spread my black cloud onto the rest of the world. I'm taking life a day at a time and am constantly reminded of how blessed I really am, even in the midst of a storm, each time I look at my baby boys. Even if nothing else makes sense to me, I know that I always have joy and purpose in my life thanks to these two sweet little angels.

Brenden, Logan, and the Slip n Slide

I picked up this little slip n slide from Wal-mart for $5.  I knew the boys couldn't actually slide on it, but I knew they'd like the little streams of water that came out of it and the little splash pool at the end of it. I was right, they loved it.  I'd like to imagine their thoughts went a little something like this...

 

"Hey Mama, this thing looks fun.  I'm so happy you got it for me."

"Okay Logan, you need to try to catch the streams of water like this."

"Okay Brenden, I'll try, but it looks pretty tricky."

"Keep trying Logan. While you're doing that, I'm going to take all of the balls."

"Logan look, I'm catching it with my mouth now!"

"Hmm... Where shall I spit this out?"


"Well Logan, Mama says its time for lunch and nap now. We can play out here again this afternoon!"

Afternoon....


"Oh Logan, I don't remember the water being this cold this morning!"

"Mama, can you stop taking pictures please"

"Mama look, while Brenden is playing with the streams of water, I'm going to take all of the balls!"


"Hah-ha!! Look Brenden, now I've got the balls! Hah!"


"That's okay Logan, I'm going to catch more water in my mouth."


"Here Mama, catch!"


"What's that Brenden? You want to slide? Okay, I think you are the best, so I'll do anything you say!"


"Here's how it works Logan, you go first, so I can watch, and then I'll be right behind you."

"Really, you want me to go down there? Okay, if you say so..."



"Weeeeeee! Brenden this is FUN! Its not scary at all!"


"Yeah Logan, you're right, this is LOTS of fun! Woo hoo!"

A Day Out With Thomas

I took the boys up to Tweetsie Railroad in Blowing Rock, NC for the Day Out with Thomas event. Brenden really has gotten into Thomas lately so I thought it would be something he would enjoy. Logan loves the trains too, but it was definitely Brenden's day.

Here they are at the welcome banner. They had matching t-shirts and shorts (Logan was Percy and Brenden was Thomas) but you can't really see them in this picture.

Brenden could hear Thomas tooting as soon as we got there but it wasn't until we entered the park and Thomas pulled into the station that he got to actually see him. You can see he is in awe...

There's "Ah-mas!" (as Brenden calls him)

The train bell was really loud. Logan doesn't look like he likes it.

We got to ride Thomas. Brenden was very quiet and serious as he was taking it all in.

Logan danced on Gramma's lap the entire time. They played Thomas themed music on the train and Logan LOVED it!

Brenden enjoyed sitting by the merry-go-round

Here's Brenden posing in one of the carriages

Logan just had fun hanging out with his brother for the day.

"Look Mama, its Percy!"

Brenden showing off his tattoo of James.


Mama's boy!

Hanging out in the wagon

I think it took all of 2 minutes for him to pass out as I pulled out of the parking lot!

Thank you Thomas the Tank Engine for visiting NC and giving my boys such a fun day!

Not the best picture quality but cute kids :)

Here are some pictures and a video of the kids from my cell phone.

Brenden and Mommy decided he needed some sunglasses. Here he is trying them on in WalMart. He looks cool!

Then I took both boys to the park. Normally I just take Brenden but decided that Logan would like the swings so I took both boys. It was about 87 degrees outside. It thought I was going to sweat to death, but the kids had a blast. Logan LOVED his first swing experience. As you will see, both of my boys like whacking their foreheads on objects at daycare...

Blogger doesn't like the format the videos on my cell phone are saved as so I had to upload them to a different site and just attach a link... here are the kids swinging and laughing

Logan And Brenden Swinging